jumbled, chaotic, and random thoughts

When it rains, it pours.
When its dark, its hard to see whats in front of you.
When nothing seems to go right, everything seems wrong.

My mind is clouded and weighs heavy on my shoulders.
My body feels every last thought that keeps me awake at night.
My lack of slumber drives me up the wrong tree.
I'm short and cross and lose the words I should be speaking.
I hurt the ones I love most dearly.
I'm fighting a battle with myself and I'm losing.
I have a hard time when it comes to changing anything in my life.

I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm shaken. I'm stirring inside. I'm fading away in a world of chaos. I'm complicated. I'm not perfect. I'm in love. I'm pushing everything good away and I can't stop it. I'm confused. I'm struggling. I'm reaching. I'm trusting. I'm praying. I'm reading. I'm still learning, daily. I hunger for truth. I get lost. I'm weak. I have faith. I have love. I crave laughter. I need joy. I have God. I have hope. I'm every color of the rainbow. I have highs and I have lows. I need a hug. I need silence. I crave attention. I need an ear to hear me. I need encouragement. I need affection. I need a gentle hand running their fingers thru my hair. I need a voice to be gentle in some cases, but stern in others.

A tender melody picks up my head. God's word comforts my stirring mind.
He puts me to rest everytime I struggle inside. His hand is what I seek to guide me thru the darkest of roads I go down. He sets the captive free. He puts my heart to ease.

I am Me. I am up and down. I am striving to be the best I can be. I am in love with my God. I am in love with my best friend/future husband. I am in love with my kids(all three).

I need everyone's prayers, love and faith.

Be still my Lord commands...Amen